It was a Saturday evening when Marlina Bowdery unknowingly cooked the last meal her son would ever eat — catfish and waffles in a homemade honey gold sauce with a glass of Tropical Punch Kool-Aid.
The next day, her 32-year-old son, Timothy Montgomery, was killed in a shooting in downtown Lincoln on March 15, 2020. In the four and a half years since, Bowdery has found ways to keep her son’s name alive, including launching a new food truck this month.
On Saturday, M&J’s Southern Style Foods truck will have its official grand opening from noon to 10 p.m. offering authentic Southern cuisine at 1126 N. 27th St.
“I feed people like I feed myself. I won’t feed you nothing that I won’t eat,” Bowdery said.
Bowdery and her husband, Ira, spent about 40 years in Memphis, Tennessee, before moving to Lincoln 11 years ago. Throughout all the years, she's focused on serving up the Southern flavor that many have never experienced.
At the food truck, Bowdery likes to keep it interesting with a new menu each day that can be found on her . Some of their popular dishes include fish, chicken and waffles, eggrolls, nachos and mac and cheese.
The Memphis native also utilizes generational recipes that she’s altered with her own unique twists alongside her homemade sauces and seasonings, everything to keep the authentic Southern flavor.
All of the food is similar to that served at her restaurant that closed in September 2020 near North Cotner Boulevard and R Street. Bowdery had opened her restaurant M & J’s Southern Style Foods in November 2019, but struggled after losing her son.
“Cooking was a trigger,” Bowdery said after her last memory of Montgomery was feeding him at her restaurant.
Bowdery gave birth to Montgomery when she was 14 years old. As the two grew up together, she said he was always her biggest fan and often encouraged her to go after her dreams.
“My son had always been supportive of me,” Bowdery said. “He was the first one to do the taste testing and everything.”
Without her No. 1 cheerleader, Bowdery began to question her purpose in cooking.
In her darkness, Bowdery found a new light to help advocate for other grieving mothers.
“It feels good, like I have a purpose,” Bowdery said.
In addition to leading a Facebook group for grieving mothers, Bowdery has published several books, including one about navigating the struggles of maternal grief. As Bowdery often shares with other mothers, grief is far from being a linear path to healing.
“You have your ups and downs, like a roller coaster ride of grief throughout the year,” she said. “You will forever be heartbroken.”
For Bowdery, her hardest months tend to fall between Montgomery’s birthday in November and his death date in March. Holidays are also difficult, even though she’s surrounded by family, friends and love.
“The absence of your child is very loud, and it’s painful,” Bowdery said.
One of the tips Bowdery shares to grieving moms is to find a way to still be a mother to their children. It’s advice that she has had to follow herself as she began writing her books, opening the food truck and publishing Montgomery’s poetry that he never got a chance to.
“Even though your child’s not physically here, you can still mother that child and that helps you from going insane,” Bowdery said.
While she knew she needed the time to grieve, she also said that Montgomery would tell her that she should never stop. So she opened the food truck, which has become a physical reminder of her son’s memory. On the side, a logo features Bowdery and her husband standing alongside Montgomery. A bridge in the shape of an "M" for Memphis.
“I definitely feel his presence and just hearing his voice telling me, ‘Mom, you gotta continue,’” Bowdery said. “Me doing the food truck and coming back out is in honor of him.”
Bowdery said her other five kids, who still live in Lincoln, understood their mom needed time to grieve, but they were also very excited to see her start back up with the food truck.
“It’s like I never left, and it feels good,” Bowdery said.
In its opening phase, there will be no set hours for the food truck. For the most part, it can be found at 1126 N. 27th St., but Bowdery said they’ve already had requests to travel to other sides of town and even to Omaha. In addition to the menu, customers can follow her to stay updated with the food truck’s locations and times.
Familiar faces have already been visiting Bowdery at the food truck after awaiting her grand return since closing the restaurant. While she’s only opened the truck a few times this month, she said they’ve been very supportive over the past few years.
“They told me to take my time, grieve as long as I want to, and when I come back, they will be here, and they are here,” Bowdery said.