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The city of 6,000 people in northeast Nebraska had the small-town feel he wanted for his family. And for a while, Graham thought he had gotten it right.

“At first it was great,” he said.

But when his son, who is Black, was first called a racial slur by his new classmates at Wayne High School, Graham’s picture-perfect view of Wayne began to crumble.

Maybe it was a one-time thing. Maybe it would stop. Maybe his classmates just needed to get to know him better, needed to learn their actions were hateful.

As the school year continued, however, things only escalated. It grew from use of the N-word to making offensive actions toward him daily.

It was too much for the teenager to handle.

In January, the Grahams pulled their son, who the Journal Star agreed not to name in this article, out of public school and home-schooled him for the remainder of the year. In May, the family packed up and moved out of Nebraska – just over a year after they first called Wayne home.

“It was exhausting, heartbreaking, devastating,” Graham said. “Watching our son and hoping our son is not permanently injured emotionally, and that he can process through this.”

Despite it all, though, Graham now wants to share his son’s story, foster change and shine a light on a dark corner in the Wayne community.

Graham’s son isn’t the only student of color to face racism at Wayne, and he won’t be the last unless something more is done, Graham said.

Before leaving the community, Graham worked with the school superintendent to find solutions to the issue of racism in the district even though his son would never return there. In the end, Graham said he felt good about the conversations he had with district officials and the plans that were made.

“This is going to take some real time and some real effort and intentionality to change this culture of racism in the high school and middle school,” Graham said. “As much as we want to see that, we didn't want (our son) to have to live with that every day anymore.”

‘I can't live like this’

Lee and Brittny Graham were looking to settle down somewhere new, somewhere safe for their four children.

Wayne seemed like the perfect spot for the pastor and nurse, where they could each pursue their individual careers. They had heard great things about the school district and decided it would be a nice change from the large California schools their children were used to.

The Grahams, who are white, have two Black sons who are adopted. One of the sons has already graduated from high school and did not attend school in Wayne. Because they knew the community might lack the diversity they were accustomed to in a bigger city, they talked to school officials about how welcome their younger son might feel.

Each person they asked said it wouldn’t be a problem, and the Wayne community would welcome them all.

And this proved true for a while. The family was settling in nicely. Their younger son was making friends, joined the football team and started working a part-time job as a lifeguard at the local pool.

But things took a sour turn when their son was called the N-word by his newfound friends.

Their son was devastated but believes in the good in people, Lee Graham said. He wanted to handle the situation on his own and earn the respect of his peers without his parents' help. He said his son attempted to tell the other students to stop and let them know their actions were offensive.

“But then it got a lot more intense,” Lee Graham said.

As the school year progressed, the use of the racial slur became a daily occurrence, which eventually led to a handful of his classmates mocking him with derogatory actions, like making monkey noises and calling him a baboon. Their son even began to hear racist comments from other area teams while on the football field during games.

While their son regularly reported these incidents to school staff, the district was often unable to do anything about it because there were rarely witnesses or proof, which was extremely frustrating, Lee Graham said.

Not having any evidence, or when incidents occur outside of school, can make it fairly challenging to fully investigate accusations, Superintendent Mark Lenihan said.

“You just try and find the facts and deal with it accordingly, depending on the situation,” Lenihan said.

In at least one instance, a teacher overheard students mocking the Grahams' son with racial slurs in class and failed to report the incident. The teacher later wrote a letter of apology to their son, which was a nice gesture, but doesn’t make up for allowing it to happen, Lee Graham said.

Still, even as the problem worsened, their son wanted to handle it on his own.

“He was struggling with it, but he did not want us to get involved. He said ‘Mom and Dad, I'll handle this. I'll just give it time. I'm the new guy. When they get to know me, they won't do this anymore,” Lee Graham said.

But an incident in gym class finally pushed their son to his limit in November of last year.

As he was lying on the gym floor after running sprints in P.E., a classmate placed his knee on his neck and asked him if he could breathe. The action mimicked those of police officers during an arrest in Minneapolis in 2020 after an officer placed his knee on George Floyd’s neck as Floyd repeatedly cried out “I can’t breathe.” His death sparked countless protests against police brutality across the nation.

“Finally, our son came to us and said ‘I can't do this anymore. I need you to get involved. I can't live like this,’” Lee Graham said. “... It was about to break him.”

The Grahams pulled their son from Wayne High at the start of the second semester, and he finished the year from home. After considering whether to have him enroll at another area school, they ultimately decided they couldn’t keep their family in Wayne. Their son deserved a fresh start.

Before they left, Lee and Brittny Graham spoke to Lenihan, the school superintendent, about what needed to be done to curb this issue.

Then at the end of May, one year after moving in, the Grahams said goodbye to a community they had hoped to live in for many years.

“We hadn't even opened all the boxes yet from moving there and we were already starting to repack,” Lee Graham said.

But moving across the country again has been far from the hardest part of the whole ordeal. Watching their son endure the pain and isolation he experienced has been unbelievably painful, Brittny Graham said.

“What's more difficult to us is that our son can't just be himself and be accepted for the color that he is,” she said. “That's harder than having to uproot again, that he could never feel that peace. That's the hardest part for a parent I think.”

Now, the community is forced to deal with the actions — or lack thereof — that led to a family moving away, said Jesse Kai, who grew up in a neighboring town and has been a resident of Wayne on and off since 2015.

Kai never personally knew the Graham family, but when he heard what the Grahams’ son had experienced, he felt heartbroken, ashamed and compelled to speak out, he said. On the morning of the Graham family's departure from Wayne, Kai spent time talking with the family about their experience and what could be done to prevent it from happening again. Then, with their permission, he reached out to various news outlets across the country, including the Journal Star. 

“Our town was so painful for a family that they couldn't stay, and they won't be back. As a community, that's something we have to live with. That's part of our permanent record,” he said.

“We could have been a place that welcomed them, and we could have been a place that welcomed people of all stripes. We could have been a place that when it found out about the pain they were going through, that their son was going through, corrected it — found the way, impossibly, with difficulty, but somehow, to correct it. And we were not that place.”

‘Makes me sick to my stomach’

The Grahams' son isn’t alone in the racism he experienced at Wayne Community Schools, however.

Another mother said her 14-year-old Black son had a similar experience in the school district, which he had attended since kindergarten. The Journal Star is not naming the mother to protect her son’s identity due to his adoption status.

The first time her son was called a racial slur at school occurred about two years ago, and the issue got worse, especially during the past school year, she said. It reached the point that her son requested to transfer to a neighboring district.

“The only thing I can do is try to remove him from it, because he just tells me it's not going to change, it's never going to change,” she said. “That just makes me sick to my stomach.”

Her son, like the Grahams’, also repeatedly reported the instances of racism and harassment to the school. She also said it was rare for students to be held accountable for their words or actions.

“Absolutely nothing is done,” she said. “Those kids were still in his class. They were still there. Whatever reprimand that they had, it was minimal to none.”

She said her son often feels angry and embarrassed that this has happened and feels out of place at school.

Both families said the racism they encountered in Wayne nearly always occurred within the brick walls of the middle or high school, and rarely anywhere else within the community.

In fact, the Graham family experienced nothing but love and support from their fellow community members while they lived in Wayne, especially from the congregation at Calvary Bible Church where Lee was the lead pastor. They said their son also received a lot of support from his football coach and P.E. teacher.

“Our whole church was just devastated and disgusted by the situation and we never felt any hints of racism within our church,” Lee Graham said. “And I'd say, for the most part, with the exception of a few people, we didn't feel it in the community at large. It seemed to be just really strong in high school and middle school.”

Graham doesn’t know why this happened but believes it could, in part, be due to the music and movies students are exposed to, he said. Or, maybe it’s because students who go to school in Wayne generally aren’t exposed to much diversity.

According to the 2020 census, about 90% of Wayne residents are white, while only 2% are Black. During the 2022-23 school year, the district had just under 1,000 students enrolled in K-12, 763 of whom were white, 181 were Hispanic and just 16 were Black. 

The mother of the 14-year-old also said she doesn’t understand why this is happening or what the solution is.

“I don't know what to do, and I wish I did, but something different than just talking to a student and telling them that that's not appropriate. We know that it's not appropriate. This is 2024. This is not appropriate behavior,” she said.

While the reasons behind the students’ actions are unidentifiable, the problem at hand is crystal clear, Lee Graham said.

“There's no doubt there needs to be major, major change at Wayne High School and the middle school,” Graham said. “And that's going to take the staff and the leadership being super intentional and tirelessly holding people accountable — students and staff or others who crossed those lines, who crossed the barriers of bullying and racism and treating people that way. There's no question that that is a huge problem and needs to be dealt with.”

‘We want to see a change’

The Grahams needed to leave Wayne, but they didn’t want to leave this issue unresolved. They wanted to do what they could to make the high school a safer place for students of color.

After they pulled their son from school, Lee and Brittny Graham began having conversations with Lenihan, the superintendent, and other school officials.

“We essentially said ‘Listen, we're not trying to cause problems, but we're not gonna just walk away from this either. We want to see a change. We are not going to be coming back to the school, but we didn't feel right about just walking away without really making sure you see the problem that exists here,’” Lee Graham said.

Lenihan said after those conversations with the family he worked with other school officials to come up with a plan to prevent future incidents.

For starters, this spring, administrators reviewed the district’s anti-harassment and bullying policies, and will implement more extensive training with staff districtwide on how to follow the policies and what to do when they observe a student being harassed. The training will be run by an outside expert in school policy from the district’s law firm.

“We met with our staff and kind of reestablished expectations as far as making sure that we're trying to do our best to follow the policies we have, and making sure that if anything does come up in the future, that we're handling things correctly,” Lenihan said.

Lenihan said his goal is to not only better educate and train staff on policy, but to teach students right from wrong, too, and ensure they have a better understanding of the history behind their actions.

The district plans to welcome guest speakers to the school to talk about racism, harassment, bullying and the impact words can have on others, he said. While nothing is officially on the schedule yet, Lenihan hopes to begin this as soon as possible once the school year begins.

Lenihan also said the district plans to use students' weekly advisory period, which is similar to a homeroom, throughout the school year to engage students in what could be tough, but productive discussions to address the issues of social-emotional wellness, racism and harassment, and ask students what the district can do to make sure every student feels safe and welcome.

“We try to do the best we can to educate the kids, be proactive, help them understand why it's wrong. And when things do come up, try and deal with them as efficiently and quickly as possible to make it stop,” he said.

While the Grahams are now hundreds of miles away, Lee Graham said he appreciated Lenihan’s response and his family is confident the school district is trying to change its culture, but he wants to make sure that work continues.

”I want to make sure that he continues to be diligent. I want to make sure that it wasn't just to appease a family that had left. I want to make sure that the entire staff and leadership of Wayne schools is dedicated for years and years to come to eradicate this,” Lee Graham said.

‘He's himself again’

Lee and Brittny Graham’s son is strong, loving and thoughtful. He has a big personality and loves to live his life surrounded by others, they said.

But for a while, he started to lose that spark.

With his faith in God, a supportive family and a powerful internal strength, he was able to overcome this challenge, which his parents are grateful for, they said.

“We're grateful that we've had the support. We're grateful that he leaned on God. We’re grateful that even though we hated how it happened, we're grateful that we're in a place now that we really do believe he can thrive,” Lee Graham said. “And, if nothing else, he had a year of learning and feeling what a lot of people have to go through. And I think it made him stronger and wiser and even more compassionate.”

The Graham family moved to the South to be closer to family, and while racism is still an issue there, Lee Graham said there's less tolerance for it and far more diversity in the schools.

Since moving, Lee Graham said his son smiles more, laughs louder and is happy again. Like a normal teenager, he has plans to get his driver's license and apply for part-time jobs.

“He's himself again,” Graham said. “He's happy. He's laughing. He's pouring into people. He's got a big personality, and he's pouring into people and enjoying it.”