Cases of a caregiver killing someone he or she has been caring for are uncommon.
But a local expert said cases of caregivers struggling to cope and of elder abuse have skyrocketed during the pandemic.
This week, an 80-year-old Lincoln man accused of shooting his 78-year-old wife in the head told police she had advanced Alzheimer’s disease and he couldn’t take care of her anymore. John Kotopka went on to tell police that his wife, Janet Kotopka, had become extremely combative with him and other caregivers when they tried to help her with basic needs.
Maintaining the health of caregivers, particularly those who care for people with memory loss, is a huge issue, said Dr. Jane Potter, a professor of geriatrics at the University of Nebraska Medical Center.
People who provide such care are under “extraordinary stress,†Potter said. Isolating during the pandemic often meant turning away helpful family members or friends.
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“You have a person whose behavior deteriorates, and it further exacerbates the stress caregivers are under and the risk of having abuse,†Potter said.
The vast majority of caregivers put up with behavior changes in patients and don’t abuse them, Potter said. But caregivers often can become depressed or feel socially isolated. People who provide care for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease have a 50% risk of depression, she said.
Support groups, such as ones offered by the Alzheimer’s Association, as well as a 24/7 helpline at 800-272-3900, can help to lessen the stress. The Alzheimer’s Association also has related to caregiver health and well-being.
Adult day programs, which let caregivers drop off care recipients for a few hours a day, are another option.
It’s important, too, for family, friends and health care providers to reach out to caregivers and offer help. A recent workshop held for health care professionals included a section that emphasized meeting the needs of those with memory loss issues as well as their caregivers, Potter said.
Potter gave these tips for caregivers:
Just because you promised your spouse or relative that you would provide end-of-life care, it doesn’t mean you have to be the only caregiver. Accept help from family members, friends or neighbors.
It’s normal to feel guilt or resentment as a person’s disease progresses.
If you have health issues or feel depressed, see a health professional.
Take time for yourself and take care of yourself. “They are better caregivers when they return to that role than if they never take time for themselves,†Potter said.